Idiotic e-mail forward
I received the following e-mail from a former co-worker, asking me to "KEEP IT GOING."
A United States Marine was attending some college courses between assignments. He had completed missions in Iraq and Afghanistan. One of the courses had a professor who was a vowed atheist and a member of the ACLU.
One day the professor shocked the class when he came in. He looked to the ceiling and flatly stated, "God, if you are real, then I want you to knock me off this platform. I'll give you exactly 15 minutes."
The lecture room fell silent. You could hear a pin drop. Ten minutes went by and the professor proclaimed, "Here I am God. I'm still waiting." It got down to the last couple of minutes when the Marine got out of his Chair, went up to the professor, and cold-cocked him; knocking him off the platform. The professor was out cold.
The Marine went back to his seat and sat there, silently. The other students were shocked and stunned and sat there looking on in silence. The professor eventually came to, noticeably shaken, looked at the Marine and asked, "What the hell is the matter with you? Why did you do that?" The Marine calmly replied, "God was too busy today protecting America's soldiers who are protecting your right to say stupid shit and act like an asshole. So, He sent me."
I wanted to "reply to all" and respond, somehow, that this is one of the most asinine e-mails I've ever received.
First possible response: "I'm glad the Marine is Christian enough to follow Jesus's words in Matthew 5:38-39 ("You have heard that it was said, 'Eye for eye, and tooth for tooth.' But I tell you, Do not resist an evil person. If someone strikes you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also.") Way to make Christians look like hypocrites!"
Second possible response: "Who would Jesus assault?" (This is my wife's favorite.)
Third possible response: "Good thing the professor was a grown-up atheist and not a 14-year-old Muslim girl; the Marine would have raped her and killed her family instead of just going with a sucker punch! Ha ha! Go America!"
If anyone has any better response, I'd be happy to hear it.
Current mood: LIVID.
A United States Marine was attending some college courses between assignments. He had completed missions in Iraq and Afghanistan. One of the courses had a professor who was a vowed atheist and a member of the ACLU.
One day the professor shocked the class when he came in. He looked to the ceiling and flatly stated, "God, if you are real, then I want you to knock me off this platform. I'll give you exactly 15 minutes."
The lecture room fell silent. You could hear a pin drop. Ten minutes went by and the professor proclaimed, "Here I am God. I'm still waiting." It got down to the last couple of minutes when the Marine got out of his Chair, went up to the professor, and cold-cocked him; knocking him off the platform. The professor was out cold.
The Marine went back to his seat and sat there, silently. The other students were shocked and stunned and sat there looking on in silence. The professor eventually came to, noticeably shaken, looked at the Marine and asked, "What the hell is the matter with you? Why did you do that?" The Marine calmly replied, "God was too busy today protecting America's soldiers who are protecting your right to say stupid shit and act like an asshole. So, He sent me."
I wanted to "reply to all" and respond, somehow, that this is one of the most asinine e-mails I've ever received.
First possible response: "I'm glad the Marine is Christian enough to follow Jesus's words in Matthew 5:38-39 ("You have heard that it was said, 'Eye for eye, and tooth for tooth.' But I tell you, Do not resist an evil person. If someone strikes you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also.") Way to make Christians look like hypocrites!"
Second possible response: "Who would Jesus assault?" (This is my wife's favorite.)
Third possible response: "Good thing the professor was a grown-up atheist and not a 14-year-old Muslim girl; the Marine would have raped her and killed her family instead of just going with a sucker punch! Ha ha! Go America!"
If anyone has any better response, I'd be happy to hear it.
Current mood: LIVID.
posted by SuperSkeptic at 2:18 PM
3 Comments:
I would be curious as to why God would require the assistance of a puny human. "Too busy?" Not as omnipotent as we thought, huh?
I get crap like this all the time as well. One time I did hit "reply all" and told them how the forward they sent me was not only stupidly simple-minded, but factually in error (it was about Target's supposed hatred of veterans). I didn't get a single response except form my sister who said, "Do you realize you hit reply all? You really pissed off some people!"
I e-mailed her back, "In case you couldn't tell, your stupid forward pissed me off--didn't seem to concern you too much then."
It took a few weeks for her to talk to me again...
Part of the reason I haven't responded yet is because I want to change people's minds about this issue -- but no one's mind will be changed if they're offended. (So that means Response #3 is out.)
Of course, there will be people who are offended anyway, and I guess I can't help that...but in lieu of responding directly, this post is at least helping me vent!
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