Regaining my faith
Read the last post if you haven't yet...
So in losing my faith the first time, I pretty much threw the proverbial baby out with the bathwater. I spent my college years and my early twenties considering myself an athiest. I learned a little about eastern religions/philosophies in college, and I was particularly interested in Taoism and its view of the world. Ultimately, I decided that Taoism was an interesting way of looking at the world, and while it also spoke to me on an emotional level, I didn't "believe" in it the way I was used to believing in Christianity.
When I was 22, I went through a really nasty breakup with a girl I was living with. I moved back in with my parents for about six months and started to rebuild my relationship with them. They were pushing really hard for Christianity to come back into my life, and I kind of half-heartedly said I'd give church another chance. But I would get really irritated during the service when the sermon or the hymns would get judgmental or espouse something I didn't agree with. Two things in particular I disagree with: one cannot have morals without God; and one needs to "spread the word" about the Christian faith.
It was this last point that kept me away for years. I'm all for freedom of religion. I didn't (and don't) think Christians (or any other thiests) are stupid or misinformed just because they believe in God and I didn't. I realize that some people need to believe in a higher power to feel secure, and I respect that. But that same respect was not afforded to me, and no Christian ever even asked me why I no longer believed; instead, they'd just rail at me why I was misguided and going to hell.
This was also a major problem with me trying to rebuild my relationship with my parents. Whenever I thought things were going well, they'd bring up Christian salvation again and that would push me away.
But when I was 25, my landlord recommended the church that she went to, which was a five minute walk from my house. It was a United Church of Christ. There, I met a pastor who believed that the book of John should be thrown away, an associate pastor who was openly gay and in a committed relationship, and another associate pastor who didn't believe in the concept of heaven. I was floored. I never even realized there was a Christian community that was welcoming to homosexuals and didn't want to "cure" them--nevermind that this UCC was also OK with doubt, that was OK with the concept of biblical errancy, and that they felt it was important to *think* about one's relationship with God, instead of the mindless "I love you Lord I love you Lord Praise Jesus" rote-memorization, turn-your-brain-off, you-think-too-much attitudes I had seen at other Christian churches.
So I started going pretty regularly, and my girlfriend (who became my fiancee then my wife) started going too. We really liked it. We enjoyed the after-church study group--the first time I had ever enjoyed anything like that. I started calling myself Christian again, and sort of became an apologist to all my friends who only saw the hellfire-and-damnation side of Christianity, the Christianity that wants you to follow God without engaging your mind. I was starting to feel like I belonged again.
And then we moved.
So in losing my faith the first time, I pretty much threw the proverbial baby out with the bathwater. I spent my college years and my early twenties considering myself an athiest. I learned a little about eastern religions/philosophies in college, and I was particularly interested in Taoism and its view of the world. Ultimately, I decided that Taoism was an interesting way of looking at the world, and while it also spoke to me on an emotional level, I didn't "believe" in it the way I was used to believing in Christianity.
When I was 22, I went through a really nasty breakup with a girl I was living with. I moved back in with my parents for about six months and started to rebuild my relationship with them. They were pushing really hard for Christianity to come back into my life, and I kind of half-heartedly said I'd give church another chance. But I would get really irritated during the service when the sermon or the hymns would get judgmental or espouse something I didn't agree with. Two things in particular I disagree with: one cannot have morals without God; and one needs to "spread the word" about the Christian faith.
It was this last point that kept me away for years. I'm all for freedom of religion. I didn't (and don't) think Christians (or any other thiests) are stupid or misinformed just because they believe in God and I didn't. I realize that some people need to believe in a higher power to feel secure, and I respect that. But that same respect was not afforded to me, and no Christian ever even asked me why I no longer believed; instead, they'd just rail at me why I was misguided and going to hell.
This was also a major problem with me trying to rebuild my relationship with my parents. Whenever I thought things were going well, they'd bring up Christian salvation again and that would push me away.
But when I was 25, my landlord recommended the church that she went to, which was a five minute walk from my house. It was a United Church of Christ. There, I met a pastor who believed that the book of John should be thrown away, an associate pastor who was openly gay and in a committed relationship, and another associate pastor who didn't believe in the concept of heaven. I was floored. I never even realized there was a Christian community that was welcoming to homosexuals and didn't want to "cure" them--nevermind that this UCC was also OK with doubt, that was OK with the concept of biblical errancy, and that they felt it was important to *think* about one's relationship with God, instead of the mindless "I love you Lord I love you Lord Praise Jesus" rote-memorization, turn-your-brain-off, you-think-too-much attitudes I had seen at other Christian churches.
So I started going pretty regularly, and my girlfriend (who became my fiancee then my wife) started going too. We really liked it. We enjoyed the after-church study group--the first time I had ever enjoyed anything like that. I started calling myself Christian again, and sort of became an apologist to all my friends who only saw the hellfire-and-damnation side of Christianity, the Christianity that wants you to follow God without engaging your mind. I was starting to feel like I belonged again.
And then we moved.
posted by SuperSkeptic at 8:33 AM
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